This is my mom. The picture here was actually taken last Mother's day. I'd like to use this space to put down a few words about this special lady. There's nobody I know more deserving of her own holiday.
Throughout the years growing up, I have never really been a fan of getting people cards for life events. They always just sort of seemed like a waste of paper to me. People get a card, read it, maybe stick it somewhere on display in their house for a week, then it goes into the trash. I know some people save stuff like this for scrap booking sometimes. Still, I just didn't see the point.
Lately I find myself linking a lot of personal revelations back to my dad's death. Hopefully it isn't tiresome for people around me, but it has given me a lot of useful perspectives on things. Dad didn't really see the use of cards either. I think both of us just figured it was better to put the money that would have gone into buying a card into the gift its self. Unsurprisingly, whenever I asked Dad for money for Christmas or my birthday, it usually just came in an envelope. Why spend money on a card to tell a person something that you can just say to them in person? Well, that's a nice sentiment in theory, but I kind of get what we were missing now.
When someone suddenly dies and you find yourself realizing you never got a chance to tell them all the ways you loved and appreciated them, you start thinking of missed opportunities. Cards were one of those times I squandered the chance to put pen to paper to really lay it all out on the line. I get it now. What a stupid, obvious thing to not know, right? Sometimes it's hard to see the simple opportunities you have to show the people in your life how much you appreciate them.
I know what you're thinking. He still didn't get her a Mother's day card. You'd be right if that's what you came up with after those first few paragraphs. Despite seeing their usefulness, I insist on being stubbornly opposed to the card tradition. Instead, I decided to give my mom a blog post. As long as this site exists she can come in here and read this. Besides, I tend to be a little on the wordy side and this medium will really let me speak my mind.
Mom, this is for you. This is for all the phone calls I didn't return and all the whole months I went without talking to you. This is for you to know how much I love you now, when I know you can hear it and recognize that you have been such an amazing example for me. This is the start of a new tradition of letting people know how I feel about them so they can take that information and live and love and feel a more overt representation of my thoughts, rather than an implied one.
Mom,
Mothers day has traditionally been a time where I scramble to figure out a thoughtful gift. I foolishly never really took the time to realize that this holiday isn't about gifts. It's been too easy for me to miss the point for so long. I think it's common for children to overlook the sacrifices their parents endure in order to raise them. This is ironic because, at least for me, those sacrifices can be so commonplace that they become the very thread from which the concept of who your parents are is woven from. These everyday acts of selfless heroics are the mark of a parent. The mark of the good ones, at least. I want you to know that I think you couldn't have possibly done a better job at showing me what it means to love your children.
You're such a generous, selfless person. There's so much I need to learn from you. Every day I find myself trying to approach things differently. In a lot of ways I'm still young and selfish. I've got a lot of growing up to do and I know I can look to you for help. You're always there when I need it, even if I'm too stubborn to ask for it. Your time is always my time. Your home is my home. Your food, my food. I love it when I tell you about a problem I'm having because I know you'll throw yourself at it and try to come up with a solution, or even a set of solutions that I can use. You don't do it because it's the right thing to do. That never crosses your mind with your kids. You just help us because it's in your blood. I love that about you.
I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. You've been the best mom anybody could ever hope for. I know with absolute certainty that every redeeming quality about me is because of the people who raised me. You deserve the world for everything you've done for Taylor and me. I need you to know these things now and always. I love you so much, Mom.
Happy Mother's Day. I love you,
Colin
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